What if I miss out on my dream job? What if no one ever hires me again? What if everyone hates me and my whole life falls apart and and and…
It’s our final episode of this season of Per My Last Email, and we’re tackling a topic a lot of people struggle with: rest. Today’s letter-writer was recently laid off, and they know they need to to take a break. They can afford to take a break. Their partner supports them taking a break. And yet… they’re still struggling to let themselves actually do it. Listen in as Jen and Sara help this writer unpack why rest might be making them feel so guilty—and how they can give themselves permission to do it anyway.
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Sara Wachter-Boettcher 0:00 Is it a perfect job if you show up to it on day one a miserable husk of yourself? Is it gonna feel like a perfect job, or is it gonna feel like a slog?
Jen Dionisio 0:20 Welcome back from Berlin, Sara. How was the trip?
SWB 0:30 Well, I went to a rave.
JD 0:32 Really? How was that?
SWB 0:34 Well, I wasn't the oldest person there. So that's always exciting.
JD 0:38 I am surprised and glad that that was your experience.
SWB 0:42 I had a great time and saw some good DJ sets and ate at least two cakes a day, as one does. That's vacation.
JD 0:52 Yes.
SWB 0:53 And yeah. Hurt my knee, but it is on the mend, and I am now back in action and ready for fall.
JD 0:59 Yeah, well, I guess it's closing out the season time. Can't believe how fast this year is going.
SWB 1:05 Yeah, this will be our last episode of Per My Last Email for a little while. We'll be coming back early in 2026 is the current plan. You know how sometimes plans change in this current environment we are all living in, but that is the current plan. And Jen, I am so excited to have one last episode. I got myself back in the saddle this morning and prepared a little bit, thinking about putting my coach hat on. So what do we got going on today?
JD 1:31 So Sara, today we have a question from a content designer who works with government clients. So as you can imagine, there's some stuff that she could use some support with.
SWB 1:41 Oh, I imagine so. All right, let's hear it.
RA 1:44 I got laid off recently and am struggling in an unexpected way. I’m fortunate to have a supportive partner and financial runway: I can afford to be unemployed for the foreseeable future. Meanwhile, I really need a break from work—to rest my mind, to slow down, and to rediscover my joy. While this combination of circumstances might seem like a silver lining to an otherwise rough setback, I’m struggling to take the rest the universe has thrust upon me.
I’m scared that if I don’t jump right back into the job search, I might miss a perfect job opportunity. Or if I delay too long, the market will worsen, and my savings will dry up. These fears are compounded by the critical voices in my head, questioning whether I'm "pulling my weight" if I'm not generating income--despite my partner assuring me I do PLENTY at home, whether I'm working or not. How do I give myself permission to take the rest I know I need?
JD 2:33 Sara, I'm gonna call this listener RA for "rest assured." And I'm curious what jumps out to you here? How might you start unpacking this?
SWB 2:44 First off, the very first thing I want to do is actually congratulate RA a little bit here, because it sounds like what RA has done is run the numbers, and they know that financially they can afford to take time off. That seems really clear to them. And I want to applaud you for that, RA, because I've seen a lot of people tell themselves that they can't afford to take a break and they can't possibly take time off, without really looking at the numbers. And what I've found is that when, you know, when you unpack that a little bit, there are people who truly can't afford to take time off and who are in all kinds of financial situations. And I completely get that. But I often work with people where what's happening is actually that they are scared to take time off because they're having some of those feelings RA is having.
JD 3:28 Yeah.
SWB 3:29 And then they kind of pretend that it's a purely financial situation, because that's a way to avoid having to face the fear. And so I think it's really important and valuable to look at the financial story and to kind of get clear on what that means for you, and to really ask yourself, "What would it look like if I took six months off? What would it look like if I wasn't earning income for a year?" And maybe what that looks like is really bad. I don't know your life. But just to even play those things out and be like, "What would it actually look like?" and to have a sense of the reality, that's such an important step to being able to then take some rest.
So RA, congrats for being able to see that and name that. It is a privilege to have that kind of financial security. Not everyone has it. But something I would just offer to you is that it's okay to leverage that privilege in this circumstance. It doesn't hurt anybody to leverage that privilege in this circumstance, and in fact, it could really help you. Giving yourself permission to do that I know is hard. We're gonna get into that. But I think really relying on that knowledge that you are okay financially, I think, is a great start.
JD 4:37 This has come up with so many clients I've talked to who like, either need to take a break or are forced to take a break. There's actually a book I've really been enjoying reading to like, kind of help me have some of those conversations with people called "You Don't Need a Budget," which I will link to the show notes, because for other people in RA's position, it might help them feel a little more comfortable with some of that financial stuff. Anyway, I digress, something that stood out to me was it sounds like RA knows exactly what she wants and needs to do, but that guilt is still really strong. So like Sara, why do we do this to ourselves?
SWB 5:17 Well, a few reasons. I think one of them is that just because you know something is true intellectually doesn't mean emotionally that it feels like it's true. So that guilt and that shame or all of those worries often come up because that's the emotional side. So things being okay on paper doesn't necessarily mean they're gonna feel okay. I think that's part of it. But I think the big thing I want to get into here is like we have been trained to do this to ourselves. Families train us to feel guilty if we're not always performing and producing. You know, I don't know about your family, but a lot of families are so achievement oriented with their kids that that can play a big role. Capitalism trains us.
Capitalism absolutely trains us that that's what it means to be valuable, or to be worthy, is to be producing something for the market, to be doing something that, like earns you a wage, and that that is the only way to see yourself as a valuable person in the world. I don't believe that that's true, but I think that that is something that can get so ingrained in us it can be really hard to see yourself in any other way. And so you know, something I might suggest to RA is to really take a moment and think back, think back about kind of the messages that you've ingested as you grew up, as you were a young person entering the job market, through your career, what have you learned about what it means to be valuable? What have you learned about what it means to be worthy? What have you learned about what it means to be productive?
If your sense of worth as a human being is really tied up in like how much you can produce, and particularly how much you can produce for a capitalist system, that might be a sign that, you know, it's worth unpacking more of that and spending some time there and kind of making more sense of that, because I suspect that's really one of the things that might be getting in the way of giving yourself that rest you need.
JD 7:11 I really heard that in that line that RA shared that was questioning if she's pulling her weight, even though it seems like her partner has given their genuine blessing to take this time. So Sara, how do you start pushing back against that voice when it is embedded so deeply?
SWB 7:30 Well, you know, here's what I would actually say. I would say, RA, you don't have to push back against that voice.
JD 7:35 Hmm.
SWB 7:35 Here's why: not that you don't want to question that voice or sort of try to make that voice a little less loud, but when we try to push back against the voice, I think what sometimes happens is it just gets more stubborn, because it doesn't want to be silenced, because that's the part of us that is scared. And so something that I might encourage in terms of just sort of like reframing how you're interacting with that voice, is to really think about, "What happens if I befriend that voice?" So I take that voice that's saying you're not pulling your weight, and I get closer to it. “Befriend it” doesn't mean believe it or do everything it tells you to do.
What I mean is like, offer it some kindness. Offer it the kind of kindness you would offer a friend and say, like, "Okay, where is that voice coming from? What is that voice scared of? What does it need right now?" A lot of times those are the voices that are, again, things that we've learned early on in our life, parts of us from childhood, these other things that are coming up for us that are not necessarily reacting to the present moment, but reacting to sort of amorphous fears from our past or out in the world.
And so giving that voice some kindness can be a way to help it calm down, to calm it, to quiet it, and that can be a lot more effective than feeling like what you need to do is shut that voice down. I like to think of it as like, can you create space for that voice and be a friend to that voice, but not give it decision making authority? How do you let that voice exist so that it feels heard, but not let it be in charge?
JD 9:06 Yeah. You know, I think about this voice too, really trying to, like, moralize about RA's productivity and like the reciprocity their relationship deserves. That feels really heavy to have to weigh.
SWB 9:22 Yeah. And I think that voice is also telling you a fake story about what reciprocity even means. When I start thinking about what reciprocity means, especially in a relationship, that means everybody is giving to the relationship, everybody is giving to the other party, and everybody's also taking in return. But reciprocity doesn't mean that, like, if I buy you a coffee today, Jen, that that means next week you have to buy me a coffee that is worth the exact same amount of money.
JD 9:47 Yeah.
SWB 9:48 That's not a reciprocal relationship. That's a very transactional relationship, and, like, a score keeping relationship. When I think of reciprocity, what I think of is a sense of mutual investment and mutual generosity.
JD 9:59 Mm.
SWB 10:00 So I might buy you a coffee today, because we're at the coffee shop together, and I have my wallet out faster, and I care about you, and you're my friend, and I'm just doing a nice little thing, and I'm never gonna think about it again. And then guess what? Next week, I bet you're gonna do a nice little thing for me, and maybe it has a monetary value attached to it, and maybe it doesn't, and that is still reciprocal, right? Like that doesn't need to be the same for it to be reciprocal. And so, you know, I think this is one of these places where I'm so glad RA has a supportive partner.
It sounds like their partner has really been thinking about this in a reciprocal way, like what I think of as true reciprocity, which is to say, "I value you, and you value me, and we are both giving to the relationship, and it looks different in different times, and that's fine." But kind of like I said before that, like knowing something intellectually isn't the same as feeling it, this is also a place where having somebody tell you that things are okay doesn't necessarily mean that they feel okay for you emotionally, and just having that external validation often isn't enough to change how we feel about ourselves.
And so it sounds like your partner, RA, has kind of done what they can to make this okay and make this safe for you. From what I can tell, maybe there's other things they could do, but it sounds like they've really tried, and that a lot of this is like the call coming inside the house. For that, I think this is really a matter of just starting to slow down and sit with some of these messages that are happening inside your head and really make space for them and to evaluate them and just be like, "Huh, that's an interesting belief I have."
And, like, just without being so judgmental about it, like I said, you don't necessarily have to shut it down, but just giving it some space and saying, like, "Wow, I really internalized some stuff here. Okay, what do I want to do with all that stuff?" And that can just be a process of making a little bit more peace with it. Even if you still have those thoughts, it just makes those thoughts thoughts, and not necessarily things you have to act on or do something with, and they can kind of float by a little more easily. And I think that might be something to think about, RA is how do you let that happen so you get a little more space from them?
JD 12:06 Well, and with this sort of reciprocity, there is some sort of external reinforcement that it's okay. But with that productivity piece like it does feel like that is only you saying like, "I am or I am not worthy." So is there something different you need to try to sort of challenge that belief?
SWB 12:27 Right. Yeah, challenging your beliefs about productivity and whether you have to be productive all the time. For that, there's a billion books out about breaking out of some of that myth. What is the one? "Laziness Does Not Exist?" That might be one to check out. But I would also say that a big piece of challenging it is probably not going to come from educating yourself actually. RA, you sound like you're pretty educated on the fact that you need to rest here, but I think it might really be about how are you investing your energy?
And so what I might ask is, you know, what relationships or communities are you part of where what is valued is your presence, not your job title or your earning potential or like the accomplishments that you've had, but more like just you being a human and there in the room with others? If you haven't been spending that much time in those kinds of relationships lately, or maybe the only one where you feel like that is with your partner, that might be an area that I would invest in.
Because oftentimes, when we really let ourselves connect with our friends and simply like be with our friends, where we're not fixing their problems, we're not one upping each other on who's more successful at work, we're not so focused on all of that external stuff, we're really just there with somebody else and hearing them and seeing them and laughing together, I think that that is one of the ways that we can start to see ourselves as more than productivity, and start to get a sense of who we are when we're not working. That is something I think a lot of us have really lost sight of. It's like, who am I if I'm not doing this, and what's meaningful to me, and what do I care about, and who do I spend my time with and what's important about that?
There are all these questions that almost get sidelined when we can be so career focused, and I think this is a good space to make sure you have answers for those and to really give yourself permission to spend time answering those.
JD 14:25 When you think about not having that time or not using it, even though it's been given to you, I imagine that there are some risks. What would you say you might be risking if you don't take the time?
SWB 14:39 I have seen some things over the past few years.
JD 14:42 Yeah.
SWB 14:42 One of the things I know you know Jen is like working one-on-one with people means that you see a lot of messy and difficult situations that they don't necessarily talk about with very many other people, that they may be keeping hidden from their professional circles, from their LinkedIn profiles, from their conversations with their peers and colleagues at work. And so what that means is that I'm seeing things that not everybody gets to have a front row seat for, and I've seen some pretty extreme burnout that has led to chronic illness, that has led to deep depression, that has led to people taking medical leaves, sometimes much longer than they anticipated needing.
They thought they would take a few weeks off, and it stretched to several months. I've seen people who said they couldn't work for a year or more, and you know, whenever I hear about those stories, I am brokenhearted for those people that they weren't quite able to, like, interrupt the cycle before it got so bad. A lot of them tried, but they just couldn't quite figure out how to give themselves that permission. And the results ended up being devastating. And you know, there's this saying, right, that it's like, if you don't take a break, your body's gonna decide for you when it's gonna take a break, and it's not gonna be at the most convenient time. And that's really what's happening, right? It's like they're saying, "No, I'm gonna push through, I'm gonna push through, I'm gonna push through."
And then there's some point where their body goes, "No, you're not." And for people where that's happened to you, I wanna offer just some real love and support and to say that it's okay that that happened, and it's okay you wound up there, and you're not a bad person or a weak person for winding up in that spot. It's actually quite easy to wind up in that spot. And we live in a society that makes it very easy to wind up in that spot.
JD 16:30 Yeah.
SWB 16:30 And I also want to say I don't want as many people to wind up there, and I don't want RA to wind up there. And so I think really thinking about some of the long term risks of like, "If I continue to push through, okay, what might that give me? Well, it might give me a couple month head start on the job market. Okay, what might it take from me? Well, if it takes a year of my life away from me, down the line, if it takes all of my energy, all of my enthusiasm, all of my optimism, all of my hope, because I get so burned out that I don't know how to get out of the hole, was that really worth it? Is that a trade-off that makes sense?" And in my book, I think the answer isn't obvious, no, particularly since RA has so many things in their favor right now, right? They have the financial runway and the supportive partner and all these other things that have lined up for them that I really think that this is the universe telling you, "Take what you need."
JD 17:26 It also feels like it's like, not even just about surviving, you know, like rest as that sort of restorative thing, but also an opportunity to, like, as RA said, rediscover their joy. And that's a hard piece to reconnect to when you've been really disconnected from it. How have you seen people start to find that spark again?
SWB 17:50 Yeah, I don't think it's easy. I think a lot of us really struggle to give ourselves permission to look for joy. It feels silly because it usually involves doing things that are new to us, or rediscovering things we enjoyed as kids. It involves playing, and for a lot of us, that is hard to do. I was just talking to a friend today who came back from a singing retreat that another friend of mine put on. Yeah, I know. When I heard about it, I was, like, equal parts intrigued and terrified, because I am not a singer, but you know what?
JD 18:27 What?
SWB 18:27 She said that at first she hated it.
JD 18:28 Not surprised.
SWB 18:32 Just hated it. And then it became the best thing she's done in a really long time.
JD 18:38 Oh yes.
SWB 18:40 Isn't that relatable? Because it can be so awkward to enter a new space. It can feel silly to do something like to sing with a group of strangers. How ridiculous. Who do I think I am, right? I can see all of these thoughts surfacing up. At least they certainly would for me. But I love the idea of it, right, as it's just like doing something new can be scary and uncomfortable, and so we often just don't. Like, I know this is something I struggle with, and in fact, it's something I really admire about you, Jen, because I see you do a lot more trying of new things and playing, I think, than, than I'm comfortable with.
JD 19:12 It is something I've been trying to force myself into honestly, because I needed that reminder that I don't have to be good at everything, and that, like, enjoying something for the sake of the moment, as opposed to, like, how it's gonna benefit me sometime, was something I had way too ingrained in my head.
SWB 19:31 Yeah, I took a pottery class for that very reason several years ago now, and when I took it, I had an okay time, but I actually struggled with it quite a lot. I explicitly went in with this idea of like, it's fine if I'm not good at this, I'm not gonna be good at it. I'm there to play, and I'm there to learn, and I'm there to just do something with my hands. And I still really struggled with that sense of shame when things wouldn't come out the way I wanted them to, yeah, and so I feel like I need to try some more stuff. I'm better at trying new things in certain context of life than others, but when it comes to something that feels like creative in the artsy sense, that's really where it's like the high bar for me.
But there's a lot of different ways to play, and I would really encourage RA to look at some ways that they may be able to add some new play to their lives, or try something different. I think what it really comes down to, RA, is that a lot of us have learned to be so like measured with everything we do, to be so contained around like what's professional or what's appropriate or what's responsible, what is correct for a person of our age, or a person of our background, or whatever it is, and so the more that we focus on those kinds of thoughts around kind of like coloring in the lines or inside of a box, that's a really hard place to find joy from.
JD 20:52 Yeah.
SWB 20:52 You know? That's a really easy place to limit yourself, to kind of self-censor, to tamp down natural responses to things. And I think joy really thrives when we stop all of that, because there's a lot of like, self-surveillance in there, right? It's like, I'm like, monitoring my behavior and adjusting it in the moment. And of course, there are places where like, that's the right thing to do, to be like, "What's appropriate in this setting?" But I think sometimes what we need is places where we like let all that go, and we let the joy just like happen, and we let ourselves just be. And so, you know, I really wonder, where is RA giving themselves permission to do that?
JD 21:33 If and when, I'm going to assume that RA is going to take this advice and find some spaces to play, but I'm sure there will be moments where some of their more like practical concerns come to the fore, like things like that missing out on the perfect job opportunity that may show up on LinkedIn while you're busy at your singing retreat. Thinking of the sort of like opportunity costs that RA sounds a little bit worried about, you know, how might she go about, kind of weighing when and how to prioritize that over a job search, at least for a while?
SWB 22:13 Well, first up, I would say that's really coming from a place of scarcity, right? Like, "If I don't jump on everything that comes up, I won't have anything. There will be no future good job opportunities. There's a limited set of things, and once those things have passed me by, that's it." And it's really easy to wind up in that headspace right now, because there are some good reasons to feel that way, like there are problems in the job market, in design in general, and in content work, specifically.
You know, we know that RA comes out of government work, so that's a space that has had tremendous upheaval, and some of the opportunities that might have been there a few years ago either don't exist anymore or, like are no longer so appealing. It is normal to worry about what kind of opportunities will be out there, and how many opportunities will be out there, and at the same time, life is hopefully long, and there are so many other things in the world than what's in front of you right now. And I think it might be valuable, RA, to kind of reframe this idea of missing out on the perfect job, because A) is it a perfect job if you show up to it on day one a miserable husk of yourself?
Like, is it gonna feel like a perfect job, or is it gonna feel like a slog? I think that's number one. Two, can you even land that perfect job if you feel like a miserable husk of yourself? Like, do you have the energy, the vibrancy, you know, to really show them what you're capable of, and to be able to be the best candidate for that job that sounds so great? Questionable. And then I don't know, maybe this is the most important one. But like, if you are currently drained dry, worn out, disconnected, disaffected, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, how do you even know what the perfect job for you is?
JD 24:03 Ooh.
SWB 24:03 Is your conception of what that is right now actually true, or is it colored by everything you've been through? Are you too close to all of the horrors you've just been through to be able to, like, see things clearly? And what if you wanted something entirely different on the other side of this break? Like, what if what you can imagine for yourself right now feels like it doesn't fit at all six months from now? And I think that's a very real possibility, RA, it's definitely something I've seen before, that people assume they'd like dive back into the exact same job market they stepped out of when they took a break.
And then on the other side of that break, they realized, "Actually, I got other plans. The world has something else for me," and they've made huge pivots, or gone back and retrained in a whole different field. And I'm not saying you should do that or that that's gonna be right for you, RA, but I think what I am saying is it feels like you might miss out on something, and you might, you might miss out on something. But on the other hand, I think what you might gain is so much more clarity about what it is you actually want and need, and so much more capacity to go out and get it.
JD 25:12 Yeah, I can see that point where it's like, "Oh my god, I lost my job. I need to find something safe. I'm gonna talk myself into just thinking that I want what I already had. I just want to repeat that." And that space that you get when you actually kind of take a pause can either help you know that, like, "No, I'm making that choice intentionally," or start to steer you towards something very different. And unfortunately, unless RA wins the lottery, they probably don't get to take that pause for the rest of their life. And so, you know, Sara, what is the right amount of time? Like, how do you know when it is the right time to start thinking of your career again and that you're doing it for healthy reasons?
SWB 25:58 Yeah. And I mean, this is, of course, a situation where I think it just depends a lot on the person. It depends on where they're at when they go into the period of rest, what they do during that period of rest, and then a whole host of other things about their support system, their particular mental health situation, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But I think the first thing I would say is oftentimes, this is where there is a real financial component, where there's a timeline that they need to think about, where it's like, "Okay, I've got five months, but then I'd be starting to need to, like, break into retirement savings, and I'd really like to avoid that," and that can help set some guardrails.
But I think setting aside the financial piece, the other thing that I think can really help you notice when it's time is when you start to notice that you are getting maybe a little bit bored, or I might put it as, like, hungry. Like, you start craving more of a challenge. You start craving something that feels stimulating, like, good hard, and sometimes that's still not like, "Ooh, I really wish I was back into a meaty job and I could sink my teeth into hard problems at work." Like, sometimes people don't ever really get there. Like, work doesn't have to be the thing that feels like, "Oh my gosh, I wish I had that corporate job again."
But usually there are some signals that you are ready that really have to do with feeling like you have a greater capacity for problem solving and for being challenged again, and where maybe you're starting to feel more awake, more curious about things, you find yourself asking different questions. You find yourself feeling a little bit more energized and oftentimes less numb, you know, like a little bit more aware and alive in the world. And that can be a really good signal. However, I will say this: I've also seen people take a long break and then still feel pretty numb. And I've kind of looked at that a little bit and thought about what's what's going on there, like, what's keeping them in that numb spot?
And I think for some people, it's like, actually you just needed more time. You thought that by three months you would feel back to yourself. And in fact, it's more like 10 months, which is totally realistic. A lot of the research around burnout and around going through professional transitions is like, it can take a couple of years, you know?
JD 28:16 Yeah.
SWB 28:17 But I would also say that something I've seen anecdotally is that people who take substantial time off and still find themselves feeling really numb, often what they didn't do is some of the work that we talked about before around looking at what kind of relationships they have, where they are, you know, showing up for other people and feeling worthy and valuable in those relationships, or being part of communities, like the things that they're doing to feed them emotionally. Maybe they aren't doing a lot of that. They feel tired, and so they kind of like turn inward, and it becomes just like a many month break of nothing but watching crappy TV.
And I think that there's a limit to how much you can get from that, like that kind of rest can be what you need. But I do think that there comes a point where you got to start feeding yourself other stuff. And so thinking about, "How do I feed myself a sense of worth and value and like connection to others?" is a piece of it. And then some of that other stuff we talked about around, like looking for joy, I think that's another piece.
If you haven't done that, if you haven't done something that might feel a little uncomfortable, that when you're feeling burnt out or exhausted, may feel hard to work up the energy to start a new creative practice or to take a class or join something and might feel silly and awkward, but not doing that can kind of leave you in the numb zone longer because you're not getting fed those little bits, those little sparks of joy to help reignite something. So if it's been a while and you're still feeling kind of this general shrug sense, it might be time to look at stretching yourself out of your comfort zone in non-work ways as a way to help, kind of, like, reignite yourself, and then start saying, "Okay, as somebody who feels a little bit more alive as a human, what do I notice about the job search? What's calling to me? What's not calling to me? What feels like it would work for me?"
And I think it's okay if at that point you're like, "I still actually don't feel particularly professionally focused." I think it's fine to be like, "I'm just looking for a job. I'm not looking for something that, like, makes my identity here," but it can give you the energy to even know what that looks like and want to do it.
JD 30:32 It's making me think of like with exercise, how between workout days you're supposed to have active rest, like it's not that you're just shutting yourself down, it's that you're moving more slowly, which it sounds like for RA this rest period isn't disappearance, it's more a slow and steady and hopefully sometimes fun experience of reemerging all that stuff that maybe has been shut down for so long.
SWB 31:03 Yeah, I think that that difference between pure rest and active rest is really valuable here, because there is a space for pure rest where it's like, no, truly I'm not doing anything. Like I am in a zone where what I need is to sleep deeply and give my brain a break. Give my body a break. Give everything a break. Get my nervous system to calm down, right, like all of those things. And there could be periods where you do need to take some like just pure rest. But basically, all of us need active recovery too, which is, yeah, getting some light movement right.
And I mean that physically, I mean that emotionally, spiritually, creatively, whatever, it's like, that is also restful when you do it through that lens of looking for sparks of joy and looking for new ideas, and not through that lens of, again, productivity, right? Of like, "I have to hit this bar. I have to meet this goal." It's really more about learning to feel good in your body in the moment, which, lifelong challenge.
JD 32:07 Well, RA, I really am hoping that your time away from work feels like that kind of challenge. And Sara, to wrap this up, are there any other parting words that you think would be helpful for RA to keep in mind as they're on this sort of active recovery phase?
SWB 32:26 Yeah, RA, the last thing you asked us was, "How do I give myself permission to take the rest I know I need?" So here's what I want to challenge you to do: write yourself a permission slip. Write it as if you are a kid going on a field trip with school, right? Like, write yourself a permission slip to take the rest and post it up somewhere.
And some days it may be easier to believe than others, but if you kind of like, make it a real thing, you know, on a piece of physical paper in front of you, I think that that can give it a little bit more power and a little bit of a weightier reminder that this is something you're giving to yourself, and you're giving it to yourself on purpose, and whenever you see it, let those thoughts come up like, "Well, but what about this? And what about that? And I'm not being productive," and instead of feeling like you got to do something with them, just observe them: "Oh, yes, those thoughts coming up again." But guess what? Permission slips still up on the wall. RA, I am proud of you for recognizing that this is what you need, and I hope that you give yourself this gift.
JD 33:35 That’s it for this week’s episode, and for this season of Per My Last Email! But don't worry; we'll be back next year with new episodes. Per My Last Email is a production of Active Voice. Check us out at activevoicehq.com, and get all the past episodes, show notes, and full transcripts for Per My Last Email at pmleshow.com. This episode was produced by Emily Duncan. Our theme music is “(I’m a) Modern Woman” by Maria T. You can buy her album at thisismariat.bandcamp.com. Thank you to Rest Assured for submitting their story for today’s show—and thank you so much for listening. If you’ve got a work dilemma eating away at you, send it to us! We'll pick it up in the new year. Just head to pmleshow.com to submit your story. We'll see you next time.