Life sure has been extra life-y this year.
Today’s letter writers are facing different challenges, but both are looking for the same thing: a way to anchor themselves when things are feeling stormy. One has reached a huge moment in their career—but stress in their personal life is threatening to derail them. The other has been looking for work so long they’re starting to forget who they are and what they care about. Listen in as Jen and Sara help these letter writers recenter themselves, build and lean on their communities, and find a path forward.
Links:
Jen Dionisio 0:00 I think a lot of folks have hit this breaking point trying to do it all, and are realizing that it's not their personal failings that are making things so difficult for them. It's these systems and norms that have people boxed in and just perpetually overloaded.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 0:35 Oh, my God, Jen, that flower behind you is beautiful. What is that?
Jen Dionisio 0:39 It's an amaryllis. It's this, like, bulb that, over winter, just kind of explodes into these beautiful, big red flowers. And this year I didn't kill it like I did last year.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 0:50 Oh, my God. It looks incredible, and it looks almost fake.
Jen Dionisio 0:54 Yeah. Well, if you want your own beautiful fake flower, just go to Trader Joe's.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 1:00 Really?
Jen Dionisio 1:00 They are selling lots of them. Yeah.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 1:03 Yeah, I've always seen an amaryllis as like a Christmas flower, holiday flower, but I don't think I've ever seen one looking quite that like, boom. Everybody, this flower, these flowers, they are incredible.
Jen Dionisio 1:13 I'm really proud of them. I have to be honest. And welcome to our garden show.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 1:21 Oh my gosh, we will not do a garden show because neither of us is a good enough gardener for that. Instead, welcome to Per My Last Email—the show about what to do when work gets weird. I'm Sara Wachter-Boettcher.
Jen Dionisio 1:32 And I'm Jen Dionisio. And since it is holiday time, it is actually our last episode of this season. And we're gonna take a little break at the start of the year. So Sara, what kind of weird are we closing out 2024 with?
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 1:46 Well, in true 2024 fashion, today's letters are tough. They are from people who are trying to keep it together and stay focused despite facing some really challenging, destabilizing situations.
Jen Dionisio 2:01 Yeah, that sounds like pretty much everyone we talk to.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 2:06 I know.
Jen Dionisio 2:08 I'm glad that these people wrote in for some extra support, because I have a feeling that no matter what situations that they're dealing with,we've got some other people listening right now who are going through some things too.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 2:21 Oh yes, that's something I think seems like everybody has in common right now.
Jen Dionisio 2:25 Hate that being our common bind.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 2:27 You know what? There's always gonna be challenges, but I hope that we also bring a little joy, too. So on that note, let's get into it. Are you ready for our first dilemma?
Jen Dionisio 2:41 I am. Let's hear it.
CC 2:42 Life has been a little extra life-y this year, and I'm having more trouble than usual with compartmentalizing everything and finding focus to get the work done. It's a huge moment in my career, yet other things keep pulling me away from putting the time and energy that I planned to put into my work. Mainly, my partner, who has been struggling with alcohol. Obviously these things build up over time, but it started to impact my life in the spring and has really come to a head in the last 2-3 months. It's so hard to be the one holding everything together at home and then trying to focus on anything when you didn't sleep last night due to a relapse.
Because of the mess in my life, I've missed a few minor deadlines and had to reschedule things - it became obvious really quickly that I couldn't keep doing that without a reason, and even though the truth of my situation is a little much and can mean different things to different people, it felt like the only option. Luckily I have good relationships with the people who are on the 'need to know' basis - so far it's been ok with the few people who know about it, but I definitely feel like I'm sharing too much sometimes except I don't know how else to navigate things.
I don't want them worrying about me because work is one of the few ways I can get away from the personal stuff. I also don't want to be excluded from certain tasks because of this either. I've been trying to communicate as proactively as possible to avoid any issues, but there have definitely been some days where life makes that hard. It's really frustrating because I understand why I've been left out of those things, and I need to let it go, but it's really hard!
Another huge concern is that I don't want this to be the thing that defines me, especially as I'm about to start some new projects. I'm terrified that I've only gotten lucky so far with people and projects that can work around my personal stuff and that my situation could jeopardize this moment as my career finally seems to be taking off.
Do you have any advice for how to talk about these sensitive topics that very much get in the way of my ability to work sometimes? Also... I'd love some tips for compartmentalizing and staying focused. I know that's more than one, but I'm nothing without a little complexity to spice things up!
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 4:41 Oh Jen, my heart goes out to this person. I'm going to call them CC for"Can't Compartmentalize." And I just want to start out by saying, CC, I am so sorry you're going through this. I know that things like alcoholism or substance abuse, whether it's your own or in your family, It can just come with so much shame and stigma. So thank you for writing to us. Please know that you sharing this might just make someone else feel less alone.
Jen Dionisio 5:06 I 100% second that. It just feels like it's still this subject that can be really taboo to talk about at work, even though, statistically, like, we know that it's touching so many people and so many lives, and I certainly know it has mine.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 5:24 Well, I'm glad that we're gonna talk about it, and I hope it becomes something that becomes safer for more people to talk about. So Jen, where would you start with CC?
Jen Dionisio 5:32 Yeah, you know, I actually wanna start by repeating something that CC wrote to us, which was, like, "life is being extra lifey." I heard that, and I just immediately flashed back to this one year where one by one, every single person on my team got hit with, like, a massive calamity. There were health crises for themselves and for family members. People had fertility challenges and divorces. There was even, like, a high profile murder case in the books.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 6:04 What?
Jen Dionisio 6:05 Yeah.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 6:06 Okay, yeah. Wow.
Jen Dionisio 6:07 So it was just one thing after another for pretty much everyone, and, like, those were only the crises that people actually shared publicly. I don't know what else was going on behind the scenes, but I'm sure there were things. And I bring that up because really, the reality is that most people have something sensitive and hard happening in their lives at any given moment. And CC, while you may be feeling a little tentative about sharing your struggles with a client, I think there's a pretty good chance that that client has something deeply challenging that they are probably dealing with too. You're not weird or difficult or wrong for having things in your life that you need your work to accommodate.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 6:52 Yeah, you know, Jen, that's so true. But at the same time, you said it: that this is an issue that can feel really taboo to talk about, and I know that a lot of people feel like they have to keep these things hidden in order to like be professional. And I know that sometimes there can be judgment at work for acknowledging that you have challenges in your life. So how might CC decide if they should or if they even want to share?
Jen Dionisio 7:16 I really think there are good arguments that you could make for having absolute candor or staying totally silent. But I think where you choose to fall on that spectrum has to be based on a few different factors, like, what's your sense of safety with the other person or people? Or, you know, what's the amount of disruption that this may cause yourself or the team? And even like, unfortunately, based on what you've seen with these people, how likely is it that you'll be met with empathy and support versus more like judgment or irritation that you're making something more complicated?
And I think in these situations when you don't quite know where you stand, one way you might test the waters is through progressive disclosure, you know, starting with the absolute minimum information you can share, and then kind of revealing more details over time as trust builds. Because truly, like, saying, "I have some family stuff going on that might mean I'm rescheduling meetings more frequently than usual, but I'll do my best to make this as undisruptive as possible," like, that's more than enough information to share at work.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 8:26 So you mentioned progressive disclosure, though, which is starting with the minimum and then kind of like going beyond it. And so I'm wondering, if you start out with something like that, like, "I have some family stuff going on," and you get a good response, how would you decide when to say more, and what would be that next level of disclosure?
Jen Dionisio 8:45 I think a big indicator is how the other person responds to you. Are they very cold and disinterested? That might be a signal that you can just leave it at the bare minimum. But signs that it might be safe to kind of disclose more might be things like, are they offering to give you additional support? Do you notice that they're checking in on you more since you mentioned that you're having some hard times? Have they shared some of their own personal details with you or with the team?
You know, since in this case, your client has more power in this situation than you do, it can be really helpful for them to set the tone for what sharing looks like on your team. And so I'd say, like, if the person seems genuinely interested and has shown signals of being a good listener and a supportive colleague, that next level of disclosure might be sharing a bit more detail about specific situations as they come up, like, who it's centered around, which, in this case, is your partner, or broad strokes on what kind of challenge you're dealing with. In this situation, his health.
And then its impact on you, like, how are you feeling and how it's affecting you? So saying something like, "My partner's health hasn't been great recently, and on bad nights, I end up not getting much rest, and that's making 9am meetings challenging," that has a lot more detail than the example I shared before, but I think it still leaves room to share more later, or kind of feel out the person's reaction and decide if you're gonna stop there.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 10:20 Yeah, I love that as an example of both being really specific in a way, but also keeping some of the stuff that's most sensitive or that's maybe most likely to, I don't know, feel taboo to the other person, or feel like too much for the other person to keep some of that to yourself.
Jen Dionisio 10:36 Yeah, but I do want to emphasize and in your specific case, CC, like, what you and your partner are dealing with is a health issue. You know, it's like, no less a health issue than somebody getting cancer or breaking a bone or, like, dealing with a chronic illness. And there's nothing that we all share in common like health issues. And I know it's much more stigmatizing to talk about addiction than say like pregnancy, but again, it's so widely common because, like you said, life lifes at us all the time. But I got a sense from your message that this has been a burden for you to carry by yourself and that there has maybe been some relief in your colleagues knowing what's going on, especially since you do have good and solid relationships with them.
And I think sometimes being candid is the right choice, and that might be the case, regardless of how people respond to it. But I do understand why you might be afraid about what it means to disclose more and more detail. If I think of my old team, I'm pretty confident that it deepened our relationships to be supporting each other through these hard times. But it's true, like, when you asked if it could jeopardize your working relationship, the honest answer is like, yeah, it could, because you can't control how people react to what you share, but you can control if you're showing up in a way that feels like it's in line with what you need and your sense of being in integrity with yourself.
And so you, like mentioned three big fears of losing work as your escape, of being excluded from things, or of being held back as your career is like finally taking off, and I can totally see why those are so scary. And I think your question around compartmentalizing, that becomes a helpful one in starting to tackle those fears.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 12:38 Speaking of compartmentalizing, I know that's often spoken of as a negative, and it definitely can be. But I'm wondering if, when we start talking about compartmentalizing, can we maybe start with, like, is there a healthy version of it?
Jen Dionisio 12:51 Yeah, I think that compartmentalizing gets a bad rep, but it's only negative when it kind of leads you to just completely avoiding a problem and, like, pretending it doesn't exist, because we all know that it exists, and it's going to pop up at you again someday. But that doesn't sound like what you're doing at all, CC. You know, you're not trying to pretend that these challenges aren't happening. You're just asking to keep some space for other positive things to exist at the same time.
And I think that's actually a really pragmatic way to look at things, because in reality, like, so few of the crises that any of us face can actually be resolved immediately or in a day or in a week or in a month. These things linger, and life has to kind of keep moving along. And so when it comes to how you might compartmentalize in a healthy way, some questions I might ask you are, what are your highest priorities right now? Are there any, like, routines or rituals that might help you protect the things that matter to you? And are there any boundaries that you might need to set with yourself or others to kind of hold and protect this space?
For example, you know, maybe a place I'd start with is which of those three fears is most worrisome to you? Let's say it's being held back from career growth. How can you protect that? Maybe you could get clear around like, one or two really concrete goals or intentions that you're working towards so that then you can work backwards on how to keep them from getting kind of lost in the shuffle. Maybe it's making sure that you're keeping, like, a really accurate daily log of what you've done and what you've accomplished, so that even you don't forget all the things that you've accomplished in the swirl of all these other things going on.
Or like, maybe it's committing to a regular check-in with your main client, where you talk through this list that you're keeping so that they're staying aware of what you're doing and how you're growing. And maybe it's even setting a boundary with that person where you decide and ask not to speak about what's happening at home in those very specific check in meetings, you know, and you ask that that other person saves questions about what's happening for other times you're together, so that the focus is truly on you and your work.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 15:18 You know, Jen, one of the things that really strikes me there is how that gives an opportunity for CC to be the center sometimes. And I think one of the things that can be really hard when you're trying to support somebody who's going through a crisis is that you're not the center in that, right? Like, you spend a lot of time putting them first and thinking about them and focusing on them, and it becomes easy to lose yourself a bit in that process. And so I think creating spaces where CC gets to be important also sounds really important.
Jen Dionisio 15:49 Yeah, I think that's such a great point. I'm glad you brought it up, because this is not a perfect process. And you know, like I was saying earlier, like this is something that may take a while to resolve itself, and you can't be absent from the narrative for that long. Like, you deserve to still have some control over parts of your life that matter to you. And so maybe more than anything, what I would say to you, CC, is like, give yourself some grace to be in the spotlight sometimes when you want to be, or to step back when you need to be, and to just like, not get this perfectly perfect, and to trust that like you're not going to let this define you.
You are clearly a supportive partner, you sound like you're a kick-ass consultant, and I bet you're so many other things too. And so maybe it's a good time to think about what helps you connect to these other parts of you. Write them down so that when you're feeling like you're only a caretaker or only a person dealing with a crisis, you have reminders that you have a whole self and that you want to give some time and attention to those parts of you, too. And I think you deserve a support system, CC, and maybe work isn't necessarily the place where you're going to get all of your support needs met. But I don't think it's weird or bad to get some of that from your colleagues. You spend a lot of time with them, I imagine, right?
And I think if you can balance that out with some other kinds of support, you know, maybe it's time with friends or family or going to Al-Anon meetings, or tapping into other communities you're part of. These things can remind you that you're not only the person in this caretaking mode and that you, like many people, deserve a little extra grace right now.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 17:57 And you know, CC, whatever you decide about how much you want to disclose at work and how much you want to keep to yourself, I really do hope that you are finding spaces where you feel like you can be honest about what's going on. Like Jen mentioned Al-Anon as being one or other communities. Making sure that you have some spaces in your life where you feel like you're not having to hide I think can be really powerful to help you get through this. Whether or not that's going to be at work, that's up to you to decide. Thank you so much for writing to us. I imagine that it's been a rough road to get here, but I can see from your letter just how thoughtfully you're approaching this, and I know you'll figure out how to handle this in a way that works for you.
Julia Drizin 18:38 Power Shift completely reframed how I see myself at work and how I view the concept of leadership.
Asia Hoe 18:45 One of the biggest things that has changed for me is that I feel less anxious when I'm thinking about my work.
Angie King 18:53 Sara and Jen gave me the tools I needed to overcome a lot of the limited thinking that was going on inside of my noggin and rewrite the stories that were no longer serving me.
Ali Burke 19:03 The program has helped me put clarity around the leader that I want to be and create my own version of a growth path that's rooted in my wants and needs and my personal values.
Emily Duncan 19:15 If you're tired of trying to live up to a leadership archetype that looks nothing like you, it's time to start your power shift. Power Shift is all about reconnecting with yourself and your values and unlocking parts of you that may have been tucked away. You'll explore your boundaries, inner critics, and stress responses, not just learn quick fixes or productivity hacks. Join Sara and Jen for nine weeks of live master classes, self-guided modules, and coaching sessions designed to help you lead with self-trust, confidence, and power. Power Shift begins on February 6, and registration is now open. Get all the details at https://www.activevoicehq.com/power-shift.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 19:59 Okay, Jen, are you ready for another dilemma?
Jen Dionisio 20:02 I am.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 20:03 All right. So this one comes from someone I bet some of our listeners will relate to. Let's listen:
DA 20:09 It's been about 9 months since I've been unemployed and I'm starting to forget what I'm here to do. After 2 to 4 years of creating research practices within startups, I know there's always this point within the practice, when things feel like they are working well and then I start to ask myself this question: "What else is left to do?" So I know that this type of "syndrome" is not necessarily something related to working per se, but it is a question that comes up to ensure that we are staying focused and grounded in the skills that we want to build, as well as creating value in the workplace.
I've been wondering how does one become truly anchored while working in a very uncertain job market and really being happy enough to continue working? As we close out the year in 2024, how do you suggest that people in the tech industry take a good look at 2025, and have an actionable plan, particularly if they are unemployed? How do we create a strong sense of optimism around it?
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 21:00 Whoo. Optimism has sure been in short supply lately, huh?
Jen Dionisio 21:03 Yeah, it's kind of like toilet paper in March of 2020.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 21:10 The great flour shortages. Let's call this listener DA for "Dropping Anchor." So how do they become truly anchored in this moment?
Jen Dionisio 21:23 I love a good existential question. And I think that's the heart of where DA started, you know, with this sense of like, what are you supposed to do when you've lost steam and you're questioning your purpose? I really appreciate, DA, that you pointed out that you don't need to be unemployed to experience this feeling. You know, it can come after tackling something really big, or wrapping something up, or even just kind of naturally losing interest in whatever you're doing. I think that we saw a lot of this in the aftermath of the pandemic, speaking of that. People saying things like, "Was I really put on this earth to write strings and map user flows?"
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 22:04 And that, I mean, that definitely describes a lot of the coaching calls that I've been on.
Jen Dionisio 22:08 Yeah, me too, I mean, and actually, that's what drove my transition into coaching: the pandemic and a cancer diagnosis, like, these things kind of rocked my snow globe. And I don't mean to sound critical of whatever work I had been doing before. Like, sure, I never felt like making Fortune500 companies more money was, like, rewarding, but I did get lots of purpose out of helping to establish a practice with my team, and mentoring and supporting colleagues, and fixing big product messes, and like, making things easier for users, and those are like good things.
So I think while sometimes we're kind of forced to reevaluate things because of external things like layoffs, sometimes we're forced to reevaluate because of internal changes that kind of accumulate over time without us necessarily noticing them. And so when you're feeling this sense of directionlessness, I think it's a really powerful opportunity to reconnect to what actually matters to you, you know your values, and your needs, and your strengths, and your aspirations, all those things that feel like kind of luxuries or we lose track of when we get too swept up in the day-to-day. And so you can do that any number of ways. You know, you can journal, you can read books, you can talk to a mentor or a coach. But I think whatever your approach, it's so valuable to just give yourself some time to get really clear on what those things are and what they no longer are for you.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 23:47 Ooh, you know, what? Can you give an example of what that might look like? Like, how are you seeing people's values or needs change right now?
Jen Dionisio 23:56 You know, I think one of the biggest themes I'm hearing, and it's come up multiple times this week, actually, is people who are trying to cut down on their expenses and live more simply so that they don't need to work full-time or can take less stressful jobs without it completely destabilizing them financially. I think there's a growing awareness, especially for parents, that, like, time is a much more precious and rare resource than money. And I think a lot of folks have hit this breaking point trying to do it all, and are realizing that it's not their personal failings that are making things so difficult for them, it's these systems and norms that have people boxed in and just perpetually overloaded.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 24:43 Yeah, let's say somebody has really sat down and thought things through and realized maybe that there are some stuff they used to value that they don't value as much anymore, or that they want to kind of prioritize different things or optimize for different things. So they've got some of that clarity. So now what? What do they do with that?
Jen Dionisio 25:01 I think then you can set some intentions for yourself around how you want to be, and how you want to show up, and kind of what actions you can take that let you live those values or those priorities more fully and more intentionally. And I think as you do that, you can start to keep track of what feels right or what feels kind of off, and that starts to give you a compass for finding a direction to follow. And you may find yourself getting really clear on these things and then totally hitting a wall.
Maybe it's because the job you're in right now can't actually help you meet these needs. Or it may be that you need more time to grow the skills that let you pivot to something different. Or maybe you're in the process of applying to jobs and you just haven't gotten that offer yet, or you're not quite confident enough yet to rock the boat on the stability that you have, even if what you have isn't necessarily satisfying. I've been doing a lot of researching and talking about transitions, and I feel like what I'm describing here is a perfect example of what's called the neutral zone. You know, it's the space between when something has ended and something new is beginning, and we all spend a lot of time in this in between place, and it can feel really frustrating and lonely and scary, but I think it can also be a time of really important and fun and creative and generative growth and self-discovery and even happiness, because when nothing is certain, actually anything is possible.
So to answer the question that, DA, you asked around anchoring yourself in an uncertain job market and staying happy, I think the number one thing to do is just to get really comfortable and familiar with who you are beyond work, because when your identity is completely wrapped up in your professional status, when you have shifts in your job or your company or in the field, that can be totally destabilizing. And you might feel like there's nothing of you that exists outside of that uncertainty.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 27:25 Yeah, you know, I've been banging that drum for a while, like when all of your identity is wrapped up in your work and work isn't going well, it feels like, "I don't have anything." And that's not true, though, there's so much more to you. And it's like giving yourself permission to believe that those parts matter. And that can be hard, I think. Like, in a capitalist society where a lot of people's sense of value is tied to job title and how much they make and other people's perceptions of whether or not they're successful, it can be hard to kind of detach from that a little bit and still feel good about the other aspects of yourself when the professional part is stalled.
But I would just encourage DA to really remember that those other parts matter, whether or not other people know how to value them, whether or not they are perceived as successes to anybody but you, they still count, and to keep working on giving yourself permission to see that and believe that and celebrate that, because it is a way to kind of stay tethered or stay grounded, as DA was asking about. You are something beyond work. So Jen, let's say the DA does all of this, right? They do all of this work to kind of, like, get in touch with themselves, and they really work on who that identity is and what they care about. Then what? How do they plan for 2025 while unemployed, and how do they find optimism in this market?
Jen Dionisio 28:50 This job market is wild and weird, and I think it's tougher than what any of us have seen in a really long time. So I think DA and anyone else who is feeling this way, my thought is that your number one job is to keep your confidence up and not let the cynicism of this moment kind of drag you down. And I think one really important way of doing that is to not retreat into yourself where it's so easy to just kind of soak in hopelessness and despair and, you know, comparing yourself to other people and worrying about worst case scenarios.
Get out there and find community in your fellow job-seekers. Fill your cup spending time with friends and loved ones. Get reminders from your old colleagues about what they loved about working with you, and make yourself believe what they say. Remind yourself of the stories you want to be putting out in the world about the milestones you've hit and how you've demonstrated your strengths and your abilities, your big accomplishments, and the impact that I guarantee that you have had. So if you're not feeling very connected, go find ways to connect. Or if you're not feeling very useful, go out and find ways to be useful.
And maybe those things will be work adjacent, but they don't have to be. You can find a lot of satisfaction from helping someone out or getting inspired by a creative project or investing in like a new hobby or some kind of new experience. And Sara, I think, to the point you were making about not letting work be your whole identity, spending time doing these things remind you that you are not your job and you're not your job search. You're a whole human who gets to enjoy the time you have on this planet even if right now your career trajectory feels a little foggy. So I say plan for uncertainty and treat every day of 2025 as a day that you get to be living fully in alignment with the needs you have and the values that matter to you.
Don't let yourself feel like you're just killing time in a waiting room waiting for things to change. Life is too precious for that. And I know, like, some of these words can be a little like cold comfort when you're like, "Yeah, but I would just really like a damn job and a paycheck." But I do think there's room for optimism when you remember like, this is one season of your life, and even if it feels like it's dark and dreary and dragging on forever, all seasons eventually change. So maybe the best way to stay hopeful is to let go of the expectation that you can predict in January of 2025 what the future is going to look like in December of 2025. But instead, where you can kind of put that energy is in investing in the practices that ground you in knowing that whatever the future brings, you're ready for it. You can respond.
You know, you're up for the task of taking on a new opportunity that lands in your lap. You're up for the task of turning down an offer that isn't right for you. Like, you are up for the task of living your life fully, even when the pieces of it feel kind of scattered. And I think it's important to hold on to a sense of agency, especially when the state of the world makes you feel powerless. That's something coming up with a lot of people right now. What you do have control over is how you spend your time, how you structure your job search, and how you define what you want and don't want. And I know that's not a step-by-step instruction for how to get from point A to point B, but I think it can be direction enough.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 33:01 And you know, Jen, I think it's important to say here, doing all of this doesn't necessarily magically create a job, and you may have real stressors in your life if you continue to be unemployed. But here's the thing, none of those stressors get any better if you go immediately into the panic zone, if you don't feel a sense of agency, if you tell yourself you're powerless, if you end up in this place of just feeling hopeless and low.
In fact, I think everything about the job search gets easier and becomes a lot more accomplishable and just sort of like feels lighter if you keep a hold of yourself and if you really can take it day by day and say, "I have agency. I am choosing how I'm going to focus my energy. I am choosing how I want to show up to this moment. What am I choosing today?" And let yourself choose that day after day, as opposed to feeling like you need the perfect plan to get a job, because it doesn't exist.
Jen Dionisio 33:57 Yeah.
Sara Wachter-Boettcher 33:58 DA, you are going to get out the other end of this. This is not forever. Thank you so much for writing in.
Jen Dionisio 34:11 And that's it for this week's episode. Per My Last Email is a production of Active Voice. Check us out at https://www.activevoicehq.com/ and get all the past episodes, show notes, and full transcripts at https://pmleshow.com/. This episode was produced by Emily Duncan, and our theme music is, "(I'm A) Modern Woman" by Maria T. You can buy her album at https://thisismariat.bandcamp.com/. Thank you very much to Can't Compartmentalize and Dropping Anchor for submitting their stories for this show, and thank you for listening. We're taking a short break, but if you have a work dilemma that's eating away at you, please still send it in. We'll pick it back up in the new year. You can head to https://pmleshow.com/ to submit your story. See you next year.